A draining week that I seek the Lord less often and depend on my own strength. I felt so drained out and lost.

I knew is time to go back to the Lord and be filled by His very presence. Not money, not future, not lust and not sin can fill this thing I am searching. Is the very presence of the Lord, fill my hunger and thirst.

I just keep telling the Lord just now, I want Him, i want Him. I just bow down knee down just as the spirit lead. I felt this very hard to explain kind of feeling in the heart, the Lord is being high and lifted up when I just do what He say because total obedience.

After I pray half way I can't anymore, felt this heavy thing in my heart that make me like can't breathe well, so i just go flat and rest, as the music flow, I felt is the very heart pain of the Lord, the very pain that Jesus died on the cross and see people can't be bothered. The Lord seem to say I want to destroy them I can't because I love them. They don't want Me i felt so pain because they lose something. Even christian just want to do program and attend church and the Lord just want them to stop doing for Him because He no need He just want them.

I want Him more than gold and sliver, i only tasted a bit i want more.